Apology accepted, forgiveness may be never.

characters in a museum.
Another character demands the first person treatment
October 29, 2016
Changes are coming
November 29, 2016

Ever since I published Spirit, I’ve been struggling with my marketing. Trying out ideas as I read them. Because of this impulsiveness, I ended up with multiple web properties and two blogs. Well, I’ve decided to consolidate, so I can give more attention and focus to the important things. In preparation for the consolidation, I did a search on my name (with and without the H), the Stars of Heros series name, and Spirit of the Lone Horse. At the bottom of Spirit‘s first page results was an interesting, and slightly alarming, link to Google Books. I have nothing on Google Books right now. Curious, I pulled up the link and found this:

Anything that Ani does should be encouraged by her readers. She is one of the most passionate, loving, sincere people I’ve ever met. It’s only to my shame that I hurt her and damaged a friendship (and relationship) that should have lasted into old age.

In many ways, she IS Jo Mason… the trust she engenders, her heart, her indomitable spirit… the spirit of the lone horse.

In her Star Trek world, Captain Joanna C. Mason (a direct descendant of the original, of course) commands a Starfleet vessel, U.S.S. Lone Horse NCC-1751-A. The same spirit that wends its way through Spirit of the Lone Horse finds its way into everything Ani does.

My hope and prayer for her is continued success and happiness.

The posting was anonymous, but I know the author is, or have a pretty good idea who he is. Reason being is references to Star Trek and a long-term friendship/relationship. I’ve had many friendships over the years, but only two serious relationships. One I’ve openly talked about, the other was a rebound because of the first. The person is right, we should have been partners for the rest of our lives. His decision to betray me changed all that.

Star Trek dates him. Specifically the NCC-1751-A callsign. Only one other person knows that callsign. Legend, before I fully incorporated it into my series with my own characters and ideas, was a Star Trek fan piece. The whole thing about Captain Joanna C. Mason of the starship Lone Horse being a relative of the 21st Century Joanna C. Mason is another clue. At the time we split, I had three books and another few ideas I was working on. The idea of Jo and her team making the transition from the 21st to the 26th Centuries may have been there, but I don’t think it was finalized. The SOH series name wasn’t even thought of because I hadn’t met the person who helped me create it.

I’m almost 99.9 percent sure the person who posted the review was Z.

Referring to him by that moniker is easier as it’s just too painful to think about his real name. That being said, I hope he reads this and understands where I’m coming from. I can accept his apology, but forgiveness isn’t on the horizon any time soon. It may never happen.

Yes, I know good moral values include “love thy neighbor” and “turn the other cheek.” That’s in a perfect world where actions do not have consequences lasting over 20 years. I’m just now coming back into my own. Healing from our split may take the rest of my life. His misguided thoughts and actions affected me on many countless levels I am still discovering.

Still Z deserves a thank you for for his apology and kind words. I did, and still do, wish the best for him.



  1. I had a similar experience. My best friend who helped me formulate the ideas that became my novels…and really most of my creative ideas, parted from my company in about 1990. She misinterpreted something I said to her, but couldn’t tell me what it was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but she and I were just going in separate directions: she never married and caring for an elderly mother, I with two young kids and an often rocky marriage (not to mention the 800 miles that separated us) What it did to me was bring my writing to an absolute stop for twenty years because I never felt I had the right to publish “our” stories. I was also worried that I might get sued if I ever became a success. I felt I had to resolve it before I went on. In 2010 she called and I began to write, dedicating all writing to her. Our lives are different from each other but we are now old enough to understand it was some internal working of our separate psyches and not something either “did” to each other.

  2. I’ve never let people have this kind of effect on me, and I’ve lost a few friendships that, at the time, seemed rock solid. I’m glad to hear that your pain has been mitigated by this find online. Keep up the good work with your series. In the end, all will be fine.

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