I tried to work on Spirit, but gave myself a really bad case of writer’s block. Not surprising really. For so many years, I have been concentrating on Legend and telling myself that I would work on Spirit and Tiberius when that was done. Well, it never got done because I kept finding flaws, either real or imagined, and ways Legend could be improved. Then when I changed my mind and decided that I should work on the Spirit and Tiberius first because publishing them first fit the chronological order of the series, I was left with a very empty and vague feeling.
I worked on Tiberius today and have come to a very interesting conclusion. The book should be published first under Spirit’s name. The current Spirit story is okay, but it’s more of a back story to the rest of the series. The story is not really an in your face, attention grabber, though it tries to be. The book is also not very meaningful to me right now. The story of Tiberius, however, is and the Spirit name fits that story better. In its purest essence, Tiberius’, now Spirit’s, story is about fighting demons of the past and present to make your dreams come true. Being a published author is my dream. The inner voice of self-doubt and condemnation for mistakes made and opportunities missed are my demons. The hope, enterprise, compassion, creativity, and daring that is the essence behind the Spirit of the Lone Horse are the ideals that I try to live every day.
Legend is the second part of my dream. It represents my desire to make at least one of my novels into a major motion picture and be the director of that picture. It was also my way of healing after a friend betrayed me. I re-wrote the story from a fan fiction piece to prove to myself that there was hope for the future even when the present seemed so painful. The story represents that ideal somewhat, though I think the book in its present state has kind of gotten off track a little. Ok, maybe a lot, as the manuscript tries to do too much with too many characters. Not sure what I’m going to do about that yet.
They say if you want to write something good, you write something from the heart that is meaningful to you. The stories that already exist in Legend and will exist in the new Spirit both fit that bill. It just took me this long to realize that and understand the vision that I have and need for my series to work. Right now, I can’t think much further ahead than that or I’ll end up on another long and winding road trip of mistakes and missed opportunities. And I’m tired of that particular route for my life.